The war between Ukraine and Russia has continued for three years now. Throughout this time, more than five million people have been forced to leave their homes. Nevertheless, Ukraine remains full of young people today, including men and fathers from Transcarpathia, the Western region of the country and elsewhere who are forced to stay or have decided not to leave their homeland for another reason. There were some who managed to leave in the first weeks, like Adam Szoboszlai, who feels blessed for this. The young man was seventeen when he fled his family nest in Transcarpathia to Hungary.
When I called Adam and told him I wanted to interview him, I heard surprise in his voice. Reluctantly, he finally agreed.
We met in Budapest, in Mansfeld Péter Park. I could tell he was more excited than when we spoke on the phone. The first thing he commented was that it was a good location. The view was not perfect due to the fog, but the Parliament building in the distance was still an impressive sight.
Adam Szoboszlai grew up in a small village in Badalló, Berehove district. I asked him how he remembered the moment he heard that war had broken out. When I looked at him, I suddenly saw a frightened boy, and then he started to answer.
“It was the 24th of February when the war broke out, and it was also the day I was sure I had to get out of there. I was at school; the teachers told me exactly what happened. I remember well that many were crying, and some were afraid, there was no sense of calm and security anywhere. After class, everyone was sent home…”
There was a short silence after his reply, and I could see that he was thinking about his memories.
When you get news that changes your life completely, you can't process it overnight, especially when you're a child. After a while, Adam sighed and then continued slowly.
“We knew there was a lot of tension between Ukraine and Russia, but none of us expected it to get this bad. I left the country at the first opportunity.”
I can imagine that a lot of emotions can be stirring in a person at such a time, and questions arise in them that have no clear answer, not to mention the bitterness and anger that can overwhelm the mind. He spoke with a trembling voice about the hope that had completely disappeared from his soul for the first few weeks. There was fear, of course, but above all uncertainty.
“What to do, what to do and how to start my new life here. How to start living or at least just surviving.”
Ádám Szoboszlai arrived alone in Hungary, but his brother awaited him. He had found a home in Debrecen, but Ádám felt he had to come to Budapest to get enough emotional and physical distance from everything he had left behind. On his way here, he asked the God of providence for support.
“I was nervous about what would happen if I was stopped for checks or not allowed to cross the border. When we got to the border, I was sick to my stomach; the crossing was full of people. Everyone was nervous, shouting at each other or at the border guard, some even fighting. It didn't help that you couldn't see what was in front of you because of the crowd. God's grace has got me through everything in my life, and it was no different here," he says.
A long time has passed since then. Ádám Szoboszlai is already twenty years old. A lot of things have changed in the war, in Transcarpathia too, and he has changed in the meantime, he says thoughtfully. He confesses that in the last three years, his relationship with God has deteriorated a bit. He feels distanced from him, but he still considers himself a believer, and he never wavers from that.
He then recalls his childhood.“I grew up in a Christian family and was raised Reformed as a child. We went to church every Sunday, and I was confirmed at the age of fifteen. I have always lived close to the Lord, but the last few years have left their mark on my life, and I have become weak. But even after all this, God has not given up on me, and I do not deserve it. I lived out of God’s grace before the war, and it has been the same since.”
It will give you an insight into the miracle he experienced in the first six months. The congregation of the Reformed Church of Újpalota gave him accommodation, he lived in their church, and they expected nothing in return. He is ashamed that he did not thank them for their help, and it still weighs on his heart: “I would like to express my gratitude to them and to God.”
Ádám Szoboszlai is a vibrant young man, who had a strong supportive environment and a serious group of friends in Transcarpathia. Here in Hungary, he still considers himself a bit of an outsider, but he now has a group in which he can be himself and feels accepted.
I wonder with him if he is homesick. Sadly, he says he is noticing that his memories are fading. Little things that are disappearing from memory but are still important details for him: pictures on the wall, flowers in front of the house... “I feel this absence every day. I'm always homesick, and it makes me sad. The fact that I still can't go home. And I can only think of the people I left behind with love. I definitely want to go back to them!” He says.
The question of whether to stay or return is, of course, a big dilemma for him too. He thinks it would be more rewarding to work in Hungary, but home, where he plans to start a family, is still across the border. Adam is unable to give a clear answer during our conversation, and the pros and cons of staying or returning are constantly on his mind. At the moment, however, the choice is clear: to stay, to wait it out.
We come back to the question of his relationship with God, and whether he can learn anything from such a trauma about God and faith.
“No matter how hard it is, no matter what happens, God never turns away from us, we can always count on Him. God's providence is one of the most important things in life, and we should appreciate it. It is never too late to open ourselves to God; he is waiting for us with open arms. We only have to take one step," he points out.
At the end of the interview, I can see that Ádám Szoboszlai, although reluctant to agree to the interview, is now very grateful. Instead of the young man who was a little scared at the beginning, I now see a confident, liberated man. After recalling what happened and exploring his feelings, perhaps what he thinks about God has been even more confirmed.
